When he first approached life coaching for guys, Matt was grappling with self-doubt, indecision, and a fear of choosing the wrong path in life. He felt stuck and adrift.
He was drinking more than he wanted. He was smoking more than he wanted. He kept doing things that he knew were holding him back, but left to his own vices, he felt unable to do anything about it.
These challenges were compounded by the stress of his job and financial instability—he was doing backbreaking manual labor out in the elements for work. At the same time, he was dealing with the pressure from family and friends to find a rewarding career.
Needless to say, Matt felt like he was becoming a “loser” and drifting through life.
The Catalyst for Change
Matthew saw his self-esteem crumble and felt a growing detachment from personal and professional goals. He faced numerous hurdles, caught in a cycle of unfulfilling jobs which affected his confidence and mental health. Drinking and disagreements with his girlfriend only added to his stress.
His motivation to seek coaching stemmed from a deep desire for something more. He wanted personal and professional growth. But, above all, he wanted to prove to himself that he could live a life of purpose.
He needed to know he could “make it” in the real world—own a home, travel, do work he was passionate about—without feeling like a “cog in the wheel” or a “sell-out”.
Matt envisioned a future where he excelled in a fulfilling career and enjoyed a stable, loving relationship. Things that pretty much all of us can resonate with.
Life Coaching For Guys Allows You To See Beyond Challenges
Matthew decided to reach out for support. He found life coaching for guys and brought his intelligence and compassion to the work of healing and getting unstuck. He knew he could do better; he knew he could be better.
On one of our calls, he told me, “Right now is a pivotal time. I don’t want another 10 years to go by without changing things. Things need to happen now. I need to change.”
He felt called to transform. Thankfully that part of himself that wanted to become something more was louder than the voices of his past telling him it wasn’t worthwhile; he wasn’t worthwhile.
It was time to focus on actionable strategies and real-world practice—getting him to show up as the man he wanted and knew he could be.
“Right now is a pivotal time. I don’t want another 10 years to go by without changing things. Things need to happen now. I need to change.”
How Matt Actually Changed His Life
First, we worked on advocating for himself in challenging work environments. He was done letting other people step all over him. He began to set boundaries that protected his well-being. We practiced speaking up, embodying confidence, and not letting the little voices of self-doubt get the best of him.
Matt doubled down on improving the things he had high control over: Hobbies, diet, exercise, and his personal space. Daily fun. Check. Nutritious meals. Check. Moving his body in ways that made him feel strong. Check. These things were small but powerful changes to his routine. It’s something I work on with all my clients—Mastering the fundamentals to build your confidence that you can indeed achieve your goals.
A major turning point came when Matthew decided to shift his career path toward engineering. This required returning for more schooling—a daunting task at any age—but more importantly, it required building the mindset needed to be a professional engineer.
He needed to rewrite his self-story. This meant he had to stop telling himself that he didn’t belong or couldn’t hack it—a story based on who he was in the past—and start telling himself that he had so much unrealized potential.
This transformative inner work required letting go of past failures, healing old wounds, and buffering harsh judgments with a little more self-kindness. This is what life coaching for guys can offer in a way that isn’t therapy but is still therapeutic. Overcoming fear and self-doubt are crucial for moving forward.
After months of working together, Matt was on a roll. He was fully committed to staying physically active, mentally healthy, and not letting alcohol or marijuana derail his process. This played a large part in helping him build a new self-story and build his confidence that he could live a life of purpose.
Matt achieved what I want for all my clients: self-sufficiency, confidence, and sustainable habits that could serve him for the rest of his life.
Building a New Empowering Future
The hard part of being a coach is that I’m always planting seeds but don’t always get to see the beautiful trees they turn into. For Matt, I got to see the towering and resilient redwood he became.
Last month, I received an email from him with great news. He told me that he passed the Fundamentals of Engineering Exam and will start work as a field engineer for a prestigious engineering firm. He also told me he got engaged to his long-time girlfriend and thanked me for the strategies he developed during coaching.
He said that setting a daily routine, focusing on his health and wellness, and learning to think relationally rather than egotistically equipped him with the tools he needed to level-up his relationship. He wrote, “Working with you [Jeff] definitely helped me get to where I am today. I couldn’t have done it alone.”
“Working with you [Jeff] definitely helped me get to where I am today. I couldn’t have done it alone.”
The Transformative Role of Life Coaching for Guys
Matthew’s success story underscores the impact of consistent effort, smart planning, and the importance of having someone in your corner supporting you every step of the way.
I’m still impressed with the ways Matt has applied the insights gained during coaching, and I hope that Matt’s journey from self-doubt to a life on purpose serves as an inspiration to others.
With the right commitment and the right guidance, you can get unstuck and move boldly into the life you were meant to have. Anything else is a lie you’re telling yourself.
~ Jeff
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